Shut Yer Pie Hole, Scale…

pie-chart-20090811-123901If my talking bathroom scale talked to me like a sassy girlfriend…

Dang, Girl!  Are you holding the baby?


Are you HAVING a baby?

I ate a lot of salt.

You ate a lot of something.

Salt makes me retain water.

It sure does.  But what makes you retain CAKE?

Cake, I guess.  Cake makes me retain cake.  

Want to hear the formula I use to calculate your weight?  I take the square root of your previous weight and multiply by PIE.

20 thoughts on “Shut Yer Pie Hole, Scale…

  1. Lisa Burke Allred

    Sounds like the conversation my scale and I would have if my scale could talk. Thankfully, it can’t.

  2. debrahelwig

    Gawd, this made me fall out of my chair laughing. Thank goodness I paid extra for my scale to be mute (though I swear it still gives me sullen looks….)

  3. Lisa in Athens

    Get revenge and step on the thing when your feet are filthy and sweaty. That’ll shut it up.

  4. Guess

    well, technically, if the balance is calculating your weight by using W = pi * sqrt(w), then it is reducing your weight, unless you weight less than (3.1415)^2, in which case your weight would be increased by your balance


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