Law and Order FPU: Stakeout

Episode Two

“In the criminal littering system, panty-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In our fair City, the dedicated bloggers who investigate these underwear felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Feral Panties Unit. These are their stories.”



Day Two, 5pm.  The panties are beginning to camouflage themselves as they adapt to their new habit.  We’re 48 hours into this stakeout and the trail is growing cold.  And breezy.  We may have to call in commandos.


In the rain

Day Three, 8:30am.  Looks like someone left their cake out in the rain.  The FPU officer suffered an attack of panty pity and shielded the wad of panties with her regulation black umbrella.  It’s hard out here for a pimp.


chalk outline

Day Three, 5:15pm.  Feral Panties Unit officer outlined the panty wad in order to prevent further contamination.   From this angle, it’s starting to look like the Rolling Stones lip logo…or have I been looking at this for too long? 


If you have no earthly idea what the hell is going on here, click here to read the beginning of the story.

And then the second part of the story.

Then somebody help me get in touch with Ice T to see if he’ll do a guest post.

9 thoughts on “Law and Order FPU: Stakeout

  1. Laura Ehlers

    Good lord!! At least we don’t have a feral pantie problem here at the Coast of Illinois! Hairnets are subversive and terrifying but at least they blend in!!
    And – Your Grandma Irene was absolutely correct!!

    1. Baddest Mother Ever

      We had a hair WEAVE on the sidewalk last year. It lasted the whole winter. I always wanted to know if it ended up there after a voluntary surrender or a more transitive altercation. It was right outside the Emergency Room entrance.

  2. Carilyn Johnson (@CarilynJohnson)

    OMG! You are too funny! Love your blog! I’m so glad you stopped by mine so I had the chance to read yours.

    They shoot a lot of Law and Order here in LA, so when I get the chance, I will try to sneak on the set, stalk one of the stars (I think Ice T is part of this cast), and then kidnap him for you. Maybe I can get a quick iPhone interview for you in exchange for being let out of my trunk. Oh, wait, I have a hatchback. Hmmmm…details.

  3. Heather Bradley

    Yay! Now I know. This is better then General Hospital. It keeps me wondering: Who do these lonely panties belong to? How did they end up in the parking lot? Will they be reunited with their long lost owner? Will they be kidnapped by a secret evil twin and held for ransom underneath a dormant volcano on a deserted island in an undisclosed location? Ah, the story arc!


Want to Leave a Comment? Please Do!