If my talking bathroom scale talked to me like a sassy girlfriend…
Dang, Girl! Are you holding the baby?
No.
Are you HAVING a baby?
I ate a lot of salt.
You ate a lot of something.
Salt makes me retain water.
It sure does. But what makes you retain CAKE?
Cake, I guess. Cake makes me retain cake.
Want to hear the formula I use to calculate your weight? I take the square root of your previous weight and multiply by PIE.
Sounds like the conversation my scale and I would have if my scale could talk. Thankfully, it can’t.
I put tape over mine’s mouth. Mine’s…Is that a word?
Gawd, this made me fall out of my chair laughing. Thank goodness I paid extra for my scale to be mute (though I swear it still gives me sullen looks….)
Maybe it’s talking behind your back!!!
The thing about talking scales is that they don’t have an actual face you can punch them in.
hahahaha…excellent point!
Get revenge and step on the thing when your feet are filthy and sweaty. That’ll shut it up.
Niiiiiiiice. I’ll rub in the stink.
You had me at pie. I love pie…
Everything is better when multiplied by pie!
Hahaha omg I love your posts!!
Yay!!! Tell your friends!
What makes you think I haven’t? 😛
Excellent point! I guess it’s time to write about self-esteem AGAIN.
Hahaha just as long as you keep them coming 🙂
well, technically, if the balance is calculating your weight by using W = pi * sqrt(w), then it is reducing your weight, unless you weight less than (3.1415)^2, in which case your weight would be increased by your balance
Good Lord, if that’s not Dave Slutzky, I don’t know who it could be! Or it could be Melanie Lewis. Or GENNARO.
The scale cannot possibly calculate the weight of your happiness, which is undoubtedly causing the numbers to appear larger than in real life.
That is a great theory!
*swinging my bat* Where’s those scales? I’ve got this.