Tag Archives: outdoors

Law and Order FPU: Stakeout

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Episode Two

“In the criminal littering system, panty-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In our fair City, the dedicated bloggers who investigate these underwear felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Feral Panties Unit. These are their stories.”

THUNK-THUNK!

Camouflage

Day Two, 5pm.  The panties are beginning to camouflage themselves as they adapt to their new habit.  We’re 48 hours into this stakeout and the trail is growing cold.  And breezy.  We may have to call in commandos.

THUNK-THUNK!

In the rain

Day Three, 8:30am.  Looks like someone left their cake out in the rain.  The FPU officer suffered an attack of panty pity and shielded the wad of panties with her regulation black umbrella.  It’s hard out here for a pimp.

THUNK-THUNK!

chalk outline

Day Three, 5:15pm.  Feral Panties Unit officer outlined the panty wad in order to prevent further contamination.   From this angle, it’s starting to look like the Rolling Stones lip logo…or have I been looking at this for too long? 

THUNK-THUNK!

If you have no earthly idea what the hell is going on here, click here to read the beginning of the story.

And then the second part of the story.

Then somebody help me get in touch with Ice T to see if he’ll do a guest post.

A Rebuttal on Behalf of Mr. Huck L. Berry, Esquire

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Huck

A few weeks ago, a certain blogger (in the post “Sometimes, You Just Gotta Say, What the HUCK!”) leveled numerous allegations of a slanderous nature towards myself.  The raft of unfounded charges evinced my proclivities towards misbehavior, canine debauchery and generalized shenanigans.  Charges included:

  • Cake stealing
  • Oprah killing
  • Hole digging
  • Fence busting
  • Duck chasing
  • Excessive woofery

To wit, I, Mr. Huck L. Berry, Esq. would like to submit for your perusal this photograph, taken on a recent trip to the park, wherein I am pictured obeying–concurrently–both the “Place” and “Sit” commands atop a bench whilst my young charge, one Vivirootie Miss Patootie, distributes a mélange of stale cereals to a flock of ducks.

Unperturbed ducks.

I bid you ‘Good Day,’ Baddest Mother Ever….’GOOD DAY!’

(c) 2013 Baddest Mother Ever

Mr. Boy watching the river flow.

Barefoot in the Grass

Our seasons have seemed so muddled up for the last few months. It’s 65 today but supposed to snow this weekend. This week it’s been rainy rainy rainy. I’m yearning for a pure spring day.

Barefoot in the Grass

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