Our cable and internet went out last night–AT THE SAME TIME, Y’ALL. I had to fill the time somehow, so I talked to my children. I played video games. I thought about exercising. I thought about cleaning the house. I read a book. I went to bed at 9pm. My body just isn’t used to getting that much sleep and that led to some strange STRANGE dreams:
I was a camp counselor at a summer camp in the Berkshires sometime in the 1950s. My nemesis among the boy counselors was Spiro Agnew. How do I know this? Because the only snippet from the dream that I remembered was me shaking my fist at him from the window of the camp bus as I shouted, “Spiro Agnew, suck my left tit!” What had he done to deserve this kind of abuse? I can’t even begin to imagine. I woke up long enough to hear the rain on the roof, check the clock (2am) and go right back to sleep.
Hugh Laurie and I went on a madcap, cross-country road trip that ended with us throwing raw eggs at each other in the rain and LOVING IT. He’s a charmer. You just have to get to know him. I also remember some bowling. I don’t think this dream even woke me up because we were having so much fun!
I was going to ABAC to visit my friend, Marie Davis, for lunch. I arrived really early (like 3am), so I went to the alumni house to hang out. Am I an alumna of Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College? No. Have I ever been there? No more than I have been to summer camp with Spiro. I fixed myself a mug of hot water (???) and dozed on the couch. I watched the Today show. Other people started coming downstairs and I began to suspect that I was not in the alumni house–I hadn’t even known there were people sleeping upstairs. They all put on white culottes with bib overall tops and went out in the backyard for some group calisthenics, Chairman Mao style. I checked out the photo collages on the wall and discovered that I was hanging out in the Phi Mu house, not the alumni house. I woke up. Five minutes before my alarm.
This is why we have the internet, kids. To save us from our dreams.