I am starting again. Again and again and again and again. When I started writing Baddest Mother Ever, I committed to writing every day for 90 days, just to establish the habit. That challenge really got me going. It’s time to get going again. I’ve let my writing output here drop because life is crazy right now, but life is always going to be crazy and I’m beginning to understand that it only gets crazier when I don’t write. Some of you need to exercise, some need to pray, some need yoga–we’ve all got that thing that keeps us grounded and able to handle the world. Writing is my thing.
For months now, I’ve felt blocked. I’ve been staying away from topics that might upset or bother anyone else. I wrote something a while back and a total stranger started squawking about it to me. So some timid part of my brain said, “That wasn’t worth the trouble.” Or I come up with a story idea…that is a little too truthy. I have opinions about things, but I’ve kept them to myself for fear of having to hear, “BUT THAT’S WRONG!” I don’t like conflict, but I really don’t like silence.
June 1 seems like a good day to start again. All these graduates stepping out into the world. Weddings and babies and summertime–time to explore this day and the next day. The whole world is talking about Caitlyn Jenner (well, the part of the world that gets Vanity Fair) and her transformation. Her “starting again.” Her words about regret resonated with me–what if at the end of life “You never dealt with yourself.” I’m not comparing the courage that it takes to transition in the spotlight of celebrity to the courage that it takes to write a blog post and hit Publish. Please. I’m just saying that I understand the discomfort of an outside that doesn’t match an inside.
I have six minutes left in June First to finish this and start again. I’m going to do my level best to post every day in June.