Seven Ways My Kids Are Like This Old Christmas Tree

  1. treeThey drop shit EVERYWHERE.
  2. As fast as you can clean up, they drop more.
  3. When you touch them, your hand is likely to come back sticky.
  4. Sometimes, half the lights go out for no apparent reason.
  5. If you don’t give them water daily, they get crispy.
  6. The cats will try to climb them if you don’t keep an eye out.
  7. They’re a completely illogical waste of perfectly good money, but there’s something magical about having a wild, living thing right there in the middle of your home.

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