Can those of you who raised little boys PLEASE promise me that I will make it through this year? This boy…this BOY.
Things got quiet this morning. Never a good thing! I had left the door to the deck open so I could enjoy some fresh cool air. Carlos took advantage of the situation and decided to paint the deck PURPLE with some tempera paint that G had left out there from a birdhouse project.
Got a little ninja turtle thing going on there.
I plopped him in the tub and laughed it off. But he melted down when I wouldn’t let him use the entire bottle of Disney Princess Bubble Solution. We worked it out.
He refused to wear the first two shirts I pulled from the drawer, but we agreed on a blue shirt with bears on it. I got him dressed, right down to his Spiderman sandals. I let him win the battle of the hairbrush. OK.
Then I left him in the den in front of Peppa Pig so I could take a shower myself.
Do y’all sense my mistake? Can you feel it in your parenting senses?
You’re thinking, “Ashley? Did you put up the purple paint or did you just leave it right there in the same place like an idiot?”
Yes, yes I did. Little Dude figured out how to get back out on the deck and painted himself purple AGAIN.
This time I might have cleaned him up with a little less patience and a little more grumbling. Dressed him again. Dressed myself again. Left the deck purple. Locked the white dog inside so he didn’t end up purple too.
Got all ready to go, when I remembered that I needed to restock his extra clothes cubby at school because potty training is STILL a thing. Still. As I went to the laundry to get a bag of tiny underwear, he covered the loveseat with Parmesan cheese.
But hey, the dog was inside and would take care of that. We load up the car with a stack of clean clothes and off we go. When what to my wondering eyes doth appear but a kamikaze squirrel, so I slam the brakes. Clean clothes fly EVERYWHERE.
That was it. I snapped.
“CAN ONE DAMN THING GO RIGHT TODAY????”
From the back seat, I hear a tiny little voice chirp, “YES!”
Right there in the middle of the road, we laughed. Carlos the Purple made me laugh.
That’s the thing about kids. Even in the middle of all the fuss and bother, they’re the very ones to remind me that it is delightful to live in a world that can turn purple, where a loveseat can smell like spaghetti, and sometimes you get a bubble bath on a Wednesday morning.