Traditional marriage vows include the promise to “love, honor and cherish.” With all my thinking about divorce this week, I’m seeing these three words in a new light.
LOVE is an intense feeling of deep affection.
HONOR means to treat someone with great respect.
To CHERISH your partner means to protect and care for them in a loving fashion.
Love is the only one of these three vows that is a reaction. Love happens to you, whereas honoring and cherishing are acts that you decide to do.
So many relationships linger on through mistreatment because the parties still love each other. I know Fartbuster loved me, and it took me a year after our separation to understand that love wasn’t enough to make a marriage. His actions didn’t honor me or cherish me. A marriage requires equal parts of all three. Having a surplus in one area doesn’t make up for a lack in another.
Books, movies, music, plays give us a wealth of experience and examples of love…but where do we learn to honor and cherish?
In your experience, which vow is the hardest to keep?