Top Ten Reasons I Know I’m Not at Home

  1. No one complained about having sushi for dinner.

    Another word for "clean" is "sterile."

    Another word for “clean” is “sterile.”

  2. The sheets don’t have any cracker crumbs, Matchbox cars, wood chips, sand, or pee on them.
  3. It’s been 14 hours since I had to worry about the state of anyone else’s butt.
  4. I don’t even know which channel Nick Jr is on this TV.
  5. No alarm.  I get to sleep until I decide to wake up.
  6. The bathroom has been “Sanitized for My Protection.”
  7. I had a one-hour uninterrupted conversation with a friend.
  8. There are no cats to let in then out then in then out then in then out.  Then in.
  9. Surfaces.  All of the furniture, the carpet, the counters–uncluttered.
  10. No one kissed me good night.  And that makes me glad I’ll be home tomorrow night.

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