Last week, I packed up my office for the first time in 5 years. And honestly, some of that stuff had been with me for the 16 years that I’ve been in my previous job. I started in the summer of 1996, when the torch was coming through Athens.
I moved the necessary stuff to my new office. The furniture is awkard. There are too many drawers. The light is strange. I’m going to park in a different lot. The computer didn’t work.
Then I took a week off to spend time with my daughter as she turned six. In a week, she grew up right in front of my eyes. Now she can read on her own. She can take better care of herself than I remember and it makes my heart tighten up.
My son looked at me last night with his dear baby face. I asked, “Do you want to go swimming?” and out of the blue he replied, “Yes.” It was our first give and take conversation. Now the week is drawing to a close and I’m feeling a huge wave of anxiety because everything is changing at once. Job. Kids. Home. It’s all gotten different and I’m feeling swimmy-headed.
Oh, for flux sake. Flux is that state of flow, always moving, like a river. After Richard died and I faced that crushing grief, my therapist suggested that I view it as a river. If you swim against a river, you tire quickly. But if you bob and float, taking deep breaths, you conserve your energy. The river is going to go where it goes. You are along for the ride.
What the flux is up with you today?