Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons
Last week, I packed up my office for the first time in 5 years. And honestly, some of that stuff had been with me for the 16 years that I’ve been in my previous job. I started in the summer of 1996, when the torch was coming through Athens.
I moved the necessary stuff to my new office. The furniture is awkard. There are too many drawers. The light is strange. I’m going to park in a different lot. The computer didn’t work.
Then I took a week off to spend time with my daughter as she turned six. In a week, she grew up right in front of my eyes. Now she can read on her own. She can take better care of herself than I remember and it makes my heart tighten up.
My son looked at me last night with his dear baby face. I asked, “Do you want to go swimming?” and out of the blue he replied, “Yes.” It was our first give and take conversation. Now the week is drawing to a close and I’m feeling a huge wave of anxiety because everything is changing at once. Job. Kids. Home. It’s all gotten different and I’m feeling swimmy-headed.
Oh, for flux sake. Flux is that state of flow, always moving, like a river. After Richard died and I faced that crushing grief, my therapist suggested that I view it as a river. If you swim against a river, you tire quickly. But if you bob and float, taking deep breaths, you conserve your energy. The river is going to go where it goes. You are along for the ride.
What the flux is up with you today?
I have some worry, some meloncholoy, and some ennui. Nothing I can really impact so I’m working on saying my “love you!s” and my “you’re fun!s” just to make sure they know.
Oh hey.
I love ya – and you’re fun!
Love you too, crazy.
Baking for a kooky cookie party and hoping not too much gets broken. My temper most of all. 🙂
Oh, cooking for public consumption makes me nervous! Good luck!
New recipes, too! The theme is fruit… how appropriate you might say for a Kook like me. :o)
Wondering how in the flux my boys voices changed so suddenly. Just got off the phone with one of them, he called from camp ~ that’s a perk of being a C.A. It caught me off guard, That. Oh. So. Deep. Voice. (snif.)
And Heather, I love that you are saying those sweet things, just to make sure they know. No better reason than that.
ACK!!!
Lately I’ve a little bit of the nostalgia of one year down and the excita-xiety of several to go in the next place, moving again in 2 weeks, fighting imposter syndrome through exams, and the sinking feeling of knowing I have chosen to leave behind wonderful friends, whom I love, … again. But there are also memories of dancing until the sun came up, waking up to snow drifting down onto my silent street, discovering what I hope to be my profession, and more fresh patisserie treats than my pants can handle. 😉 There’s a balance in there somewhere, maybe. Success in riding through your transitions, love, and to everyone else!
Hello darling!
I hope the new move is as rewarding as this one seems to have been. What a wonderful thing to have folks who love you scattered around the world
Love ya! You’re Fun!
TWO WEEKS????? Jeepers!
Trying to decide if I stay where I am (not an option for my sanity but least scary), go to a new job that’s offered that’s exactly the same thing, or hold out for the job I really want (which could be in the works since the interview went well). And figuring out how to say goodbye to the kid for two weeks of camp.
Yikes. Well, you’ll have two weeks to think things over?
New job’s can be fun! And back breaking and scary! Enoy!
I’m ready to be excited about it!
Of course I love you and you’re fun, and you play a kicka$$ scrabble game. When do you go to the blogger conference? I shall be there in spirit. When you started this and I whined, “I want a blog, too,” you said. “Do it!” So I’m doing it, and even writing my first post for the blog is scary. You didn’t tell me that.
I really like to hear about Vivi and Carlos. Helps bring back such pleasant mamories. I almost cried at that ‘Yes.” By the way 50% through Sound and Furry, had to take a breath and read something where I could keep track of the conversations.
The conference is at the end of July. I kept the scary parts of it from you because you’re too good of a writer to bother with scary parts. DO IT. Carlos’ “yes” comes out as a drunky kind of “yesch.” VERY CUTE!
It always strikes me- when I hear about other people’s life transitions, their kids growing up, etc. I’m able to see it as the bittersweet flow of life. But when I’m in similar transitions (like now- starting a new job, re-starting childcare 🙁 ) it feels like life is crashing down around me. I’m getting in the habit of picturing what I would say to a friend in the same situation, then showing myself the same kindness and grace I would show her.
Good point! If only we are as kind to ourselves as we are to our friends. I wish you peace with going back to work. All shall be well!
Well, I have my youngest away at camp for 2 weeks in NC. My oldest announced he has a girlfriend. Work is crazy busy. A friend of mine just buried his 16 year old daughter yesterday due to “Car surfing”. Plenty of flux right now.
Oh, that’s heart breaking. I hope Jake loves camp.
Change of plans on some things I thought were pretty much going to be after lots of planning and hard work. So I am loving the “what the flux?” I am thinking that will become a part of family lore as well. Thanks for putting it all in perspective. Another friend told me last night perhaps I should just focus on breathing for now. I think maybe that’s all I’ve got in me today.
Now you’ve piqued my curiosity. Private message with details, please!
I hope the job change river is riffles and not rapids. Flux is a good theme for me right now. Lot’s seems to be changing, but the colors and patterns are still fluid and I haven’t clue what the new picture is going to be. In those timeless words of the Buddha, “Oh,well!”
Exactly! I wish there were a statue of the Buddha throwing his hands in the air and saying, “Oh well!”
Well.. spent the last 24hrs debating on relieving myself of some very toxic people. Finally after 48 years, i realized i was swimming against the river. I’m worn slap out. Interesting how we allow people to treat us badly, but immediately put the BRAKES on those same people when it comes to our children.
Quit swimming towards that sinkhole!
yup. crawling out of it now.